____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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