Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize