I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
