I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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