So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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