Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize