Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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