I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
