i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
