my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize