Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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