hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize