we're blogging at a bar
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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