FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize