you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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