elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
