she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
