Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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