how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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