More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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