sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
