we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
