Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had to coat check the pizza.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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