dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
