Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
