Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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