She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
