I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
