tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
