I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
