Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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