dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize