I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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