Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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