I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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