she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
