I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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