i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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