ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
