And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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