I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
how does that bad decision feel?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize