i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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