i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
