I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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