Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
