youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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