I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize