So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
