It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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