I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
