I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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