Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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