It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
