Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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