you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
NoShamevember. You game?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
