I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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