Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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