do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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