respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Congratulations! We have a period
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
