In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
