one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
