So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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