weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
