Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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