Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
