Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need water and some morals
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